From: kim@coach2joy.freeserve.co.uk Sent: 10
January 2007 16:17 To:
kim@coach2joy.freeserve.co.uk Subject: Are YOU taking enough
responsibility for yourself? Coaching Insights January 2007
Are YOU taking
enough responsibility for yourself? Coaching Insights January
2007
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Many thanks to so
many of you who sent Christmas and new year greetings. I truly
hope that this newsletter
finds you ready to have your best year ever!
In this
issue:
Taking proper responsibility for yourself
A runner's tale (and he wants your money for Leukemia
Research)
"Thank you Kim
for being such a good listener and helping me to work out the
‘way forward’. I am more realistic, more confident and more
objective. I am less likely to be personally hurt by
disappointments, comments or behaviour of others and less
likely take them into my ‘personal’ life. I am more positive
and optimistic; and less self-critical. Now I try to aim for a
truer perspective; and live life more ‘lightly’".
SW, London
The beginning
of a new year seems like a good time to remind ourselves of
one of the central cores of coaching - taking responsibility
for ourselves. Coaching is about acknowledging that you -
and only you - can make yourself happy and at peace with
yourself. And that requires each of us to take 100%
responsibility for ourselves and our actions / inactions. So –
how do we take responsibility for our actions in meaningful
ways?
Realise you are making choices all the time. It is
tempting to "disconnect" from our choices and to insist that
someone or something is making us behave the way we do.
When we're angry, we have the urge to lash out. When we're
hurt, we may feel like sulking. When we're impatient, we may
want to drive too fast. But none of us has to act on every
feeling. Other people don't make us talk or act in certain
ways. Make sure you're taking responsibility for how you
behave - irrespective of how others behave.
Set your priorities carefully. The way we spend
time and energy is either in sync or out of sync with what we
claim is important. If we understand that the way we
prioritise time is our own choice, we are more likely to
correct any contradictions. Instead of feeling overwhelmed or
neglecting people and activities that are important, each of
us needs to re-examine our values or set priorities that make
more sense. The next time you hear yourself complaining about
how busy you are ask yourself, “Am I taking enough
responsibility for how I’m spending my time?”.
Fulfil your own desires. A major cause of
unhappiness or frustration is imagining that someone will come
along to "rescue" us - to solve our problems and fulfil our
wishes. A self-responsible person recognises that no one is
coming to make life right or to "fix" things. Are you taking
responsibility for delivering your dreams?
Choose your companions carefully. We can blame and
resent others when they repeatedly hurt, bore or disappoint
us. We can feel sorry for ourselves . Or we can recognise our
responsibility for choosing with whom we spend our time... and
make different choices. Yes, it can be hard to do this but the
pay-off is that you get to choose who you spend time with and
(probably) have more fun as a result.
Make yourself happy. If you believe your happiness
is primarily in your own hands, you give yourself enormous
power. You don't wait for events or other people to
make you happy. We are not at the mercy of our
emotions, we control them. If you find yourself unhappy decide
to act happy. Put a smile on your face, do something that
makes you smile or laugh, remind yourself of all the things
that you’re lucky to be / have etc. Take responsibility for
your own feelings.
Take 100% responsibility for your self – and only
yourself. In taking responsibility for your life, you will
recognise other people's right to do the same. I’m not
remotely suggesting that you ignore other people’s plight or
requests for help, I’m simply asking that you live your life
your way and allow others to live their lives their way –
without interference or judgement from you.
Take action. Instead of just saying, "I want...,"
try asking yourself, "What am I willing to do to get what I
want?" and then do it.
Raising
money for Leukemia Research AND getting fit in the
process My brother, Lee Gurteen, is running the London
Marathon this year in aid of Leukemia Research and is writing
an irreverent blog on the challenges he's experiencing. It's
not your typical runner's blog...as you'll be able to judge
for yourself if you visit http://projectgurteen.blogspot.com/. It's
worth it just for the photos...
