Kim Gregory Executive Coach - Coaching Insights = Newsletter

From: Subject: Kim Gregory Executive Coach - Coaching Insights Newsletter - December 2004 Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2006 08:43:23 -0000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/related; type="text/html"; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_004C_01C64743.5AAE6F80" X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.2527 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_004C_01C64743.5AAE6F80 Content-Type: text/html; charset="Windows-1252" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Content-Location: http://www.gregorycoaching.com/images/130.htm?id=1103218539 Kim Gregory Executive Coach - Coaching Insights = Newsletter - December 2004 From: kim@gregorycoaching.com
Sent: = 16 December=20 2004 17:30
To: kim@gregorycoaching.com
Subject: = Coaching=20 Insights Newsletter - December 2004

	Coaching Insights=20 Newsletter - December 2004 Welcome to December=92s = newsletter and=20 I=92d like to take this opportunity to wish you a = Merry=20 Christmas and a happy new year. Given that = we're=20 heading towards the holiday season I decided to offer = you some=20 light reading with a promise that we'll return to = leadership=20 matters in the new year. I want to share with you my = personal=20 =93light bulb moments =93 from 2004 =96 and invite you = to do=20 something similar for yourself. Not doing = draining=20 things is OK - really! Many of you will = have=20 received a Christmas card from me this year and I=92ve = decided=20 that this will be the last time. As pleasant as it is = to make=20 contact with people I don't see very often, much of = the=20 activity is expensive: in terms of energy, focus and = money. So=20 I've decided to divert those resources elsewhere. I'm = already=20 excited about the prospect of donating the =A3100 I = shall save:=20 I=92ll give half the money to Oxfam so they can buy some goats = for people=20 who really need them; and half the money to the RSA to plant trees. That already = makes me=20 feel happy! As for the people that I want to keep in = touch=20 with - it'll still happen, just = differently. I=92ve been=20 thinking about this for years but now it=92s for real. = What=92s=20 made the difference? A dawning realisation that it=92s = OK to=20 not do things I resent doing just because it's = the=20 expected norm or because I've always done it. So, if = you=92ve=20 had a card this year =96 treasure it, it=92ll be the=20 last! On a similar note, I stopped doing some = work that=20 I wasn=92t enjoying doing. It=92s been great and the = world hasn't=20 stopped turning... Doing joyous things is = even=20 better! Last year I met with two friends of = mine=20 who are also coaches. We were discussing the fact that = we each=20 had a hobby that we really enjoyed but that we = weren=92t=20 participating in =96 because we didn=92t have time. = Eventually one=20 of us noticed that we weren=92t =93walking the = talk=94. Any=20 unsuspecting client admitting such a thing would have = been=20 coached on, perhaps: =95 Being incredibly = selfish (for=20 the uninitiated, see Thomas Leonard=92s Portable = Coach, chapter=20 1); or =95 Extreme self-care; or =95 Designing = supportive=20 environments So=85I=92ve joined a choir. In = addition I=92ve=20 sung from scratch at The Albert Hall twice this year = and plan to=20 do the same next year. Singing is a joy to me =96 = experiencing=20 that joy is good for me, my family and my clients. If = you=92re=20 not doing something that you find joyous - take = another look=20 and ask yourself a classic coaching question: =93What=92s it going to take for me to do=20 this?=94 Go on, try it right=20 now! Getting unstuck is possible after=20 all Sometimes people get =93stuck=94 and = there are all=20 sorts of things we can do together that can help = unglue=20 things. However, occasionally they aren=92t enough and = I=92ve been=20 searching for ages for some tools and techniques that = might=20 help in these specialist situations. I think I might = be on to=20 something at last! I was recently taken through = some=20 psychotherapy techniques that meant that we got to the = heart=20 of the matter within ten (yes ten!) minutes. OK, the = therapist=20 gave me the feedback that we got there so quickly = because I=92ve=20 already done so much personal development work =96 but = I still=20 regard it as amazing work. In 2005 I=92m = planning on=20 getting trained so that I can work similarly with any = of my=20 clients who are feeling stuck. Watch this=20 space. Positive Psychology = works I=20 subscribe to a newsletter from a website by Marty = Seligman http://ns1.mi-messenger.com/redirect.php?id=3Dms599\|previ= ew\|{member_id}\|http://www.authentichappinesscoaching.com,=20 a psychologist who opened my eyes to the fact that too = many of=20 us spend too much time focussing on those things that = we=20 believe make us unhappy and invest too little = time in=20 what makes us happy. When I stopped to think = about it I=20 realised this was true: =95 How quickly people = can tell=20 me their =93development areas=94; and how faltering = their speech=20 becomes when we move to their strengths =95 How = clients 360-degr= ee=20 feedback reports nearly always show a disparity = between=20 the clients own scores and those the respondents have = given=20 him =96 the client always scores himself lower than = his=20 colleagues do =95 How many clients are experiencing = the=20 =93impostor syndrome=94 =96 just waiting for someone = to =93find out=94=20 exactly how useless they know they are. I would ask = you to=20 imagine how this impacts on their demeanour and = attitude - but=20 you probably already know =95 How some people moan = and groan=20 (for decades!) about jobs they hate; and rarely stop = to=20 seriously explore what they could do instead (or = what=92s=20 wonderful about what they already = have) Authentic=20 Happiness is about...well, exactly what is says it is. = Being=20 authentic (not pretending to be happy when you're not) = and=20 focussing on the things that make us happy. For many = of us=20 that's about: * Focussing on your strengths - = and that=20 starts with knowing what they are * Taking = responsibility=20 for your feelings and behaviours - and not assuming=20 responsibility for anyone elses * Ensuring that you = expose=20 yourself to positive information; and protect yourself = from an=20 overdose of the negative (media, other people, your = own=20 self-talk) If any of this strikes a chord with = you,=20 visit the website or contact=20 us and ask about our free=20 trial coaching session. In their latest newsletter = lists=20 Ben Dean=92s top positive psychology books =96 and = I=92d thoroughly=20 endorse his suggestions. Many thanks to Sarah for = putting me=20 on to this site in the first = place. Sometimes it=92s=20 the absence not just the presence=85 My son = and=20 daughter both have eczema; in fact my daughter=92s had = it for 5=20 years. I=92ve tried a number of methods of helping her = and may=20 have found something that really works. What struck me = about=20 this situation is that I=92ve been pretty blinkered in = my=20 approach - I assumed (with the help of a number of=20 specialists) that it was the presence of = something that=20 was causing her problem (e.g. dust mite, washing = powder,=20 strawberries etc.) when in fact it appears that it may = be the=20 absence of certain minerals, vitamins and = essential=20 fatty acids. I don=92t mention this because I = believe=20 it=92s the answer to all eczema sufferers (I don=92t = think there=92s=20 one answer, it=92s a very complex topic) but because = it alerted=20 me to how often it can be helpful to ask myself, = =93what am I=20 closing my mind to = here?=94. Everybody=92s talented=20 =96 it=92s just a matter of finding out where their = talent=20 lies Haven=92t we all heard some stories = like these?=20 A local teacher described one of her 5-year old pupils = as=20 =93lazy=94. One of my Godsons was expelled from two = nursery=20 schools as a toddler =96 and has just been awarded the = highest=20 mark ever given in 20 years of secondary school = examinations.=20 It=92s just too easy to write people off in = judgemental=20 ways (some people might describe that approach as = lazy! I=20 prefer to see it as uninformed...). So it was = great for=20 me to discover the =937 Kinds of Smart=94 books by = Thomas=20 Armstrong because they reinforced my view that = everyone has=20 talents =96 it=92s just that some are more of a = challenge to find=20 than others. Now this may sound like a = parenting issue=20 and it is - but that's not the whole story. This is a = real=20 issue for all of us. I work with successful, talented = clients=20 who: * Are extremely bright - and have gotten = used to=20 hiding it for fear of being seen to be showing off / = being=20 different * Are bright enough to have attended = university=20 and gotten good degrees - but still suffer poor = self-esteem=20 because the only thing that mattered was IQ / grades = and if=20 they weren't top of the class they'd "failed" * = Regard=20 themselves as "lucky" to have reached the positions = they have=20 "just because I'm good with people, not because I'm = very=20 bright" * Still use harsh language to describe = themselves -=20 and most of them haven't even noticed it before, it's = so=20 ingrained Sad but true... The good news = is that=20 there's plenty we can do in terms of building=20 self-esteem; and just knowing that there are at = least 7=20 different kinds of intelligence (and not just IQ) is a = good=20 start. Thanks to Helen for her = recommendation. So I've=20 had at least 6 lightbulb moments this year. What were=20 yours? Merry Christmas and a happy=20 2005 On that positive note, let me wish you = a=20 joyous, relaxing and peaceful time. I look forward to = writing=20 to you again in January when I=92ll be sending out a = newsletter=20 on preparing for the new year. Access to = previous or=20 future newsletters * Previous=20 newsletters - are available on my website http://ns1.mi-messenger.com/redirect.php?id=3Dms599\|previ= ew\|{member_id}\|http://www.gregorycoaching.com. =20 Future newsletters - if this issue has been forwarded = to you,=20 please visit the website http://ns1.mi-messenger.com/redirect.php?id=3Dms599\|previ= ew\|{member_id}\|http://www.gregorycoaching.com=20 and add your name to the newsletter list. We'll ensure = that=20 you receive future copies AND protect your = privacy. =20 Unsubscribe - you can take a break anytime, please = e-mail us=20 at http://ns1.mi-messenger.com/redir= ect.php?id=3Dms599\|preview\|{member_id}\|mailto:info@gregorycoaching.com=20 with "unsubscribe" in the subject=20 line.



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